What’s the Difference Between Fear and Phobia?

So, let's explore the differences between fear and phobia, because the two are closely related, but not exactly the same thing. A phobia is a fear, for example, but fear is not a phobia.

Fear is an emotion experienced when danger is perceived.

A phobia is an extremely irrational fear or aversion to something specific.

Fear is described as an unpleasant emotion, but it can be enjoyable. Many people pursue extreme sports to push the boundaries of their fear and have a lot of fun doing it. The horror film industry is booming. Fear is not always unpleasant, but the more real the danger, the more unpleasant it is likely to be.

Phobia is a fear reaction, but I cannot think of a single example where phobias are indulged for entertainment or recreation. A phobia is a reaction so extreme that it is probably impossible to enjoy.

Fear is born out of survival. It is a healthy response to danger. Although it may feel like a negative emotion, it is actually very positive – it is a feeling that is telling you to make yourself safe.

A phobia is more learned and is born more out of imagination. Fear of spiders – arachnophobia – a very common phobia – one person in the room can have an extreme reaction while everyone else is completely unbothered. There is no danger, or everyone would be in a heightened state. The phobic individual has learned an internal story that spiders are dangerous, and that story has become more real than reality.

Fear is a sensible reaction if you were to bump into someone in a dark alley with red glowing eyes, a machete and a murderous smile, but not if you were to bump into a penguin. I've never heard of penguins being dangerous, but the name for penguin phobia is sphenisciphobia.

It is still possible to feel fear when there is no danger, when you mistake your own thoughts for a threat. This is similar to a phobia because it is your body reacting to imagination rather than reality. Those thoughts might be memories of a traumatic event, worst-case scenarios and catastrophic thinking, or intrusive thoughts. You are perfectly safe, but feel fear in a moment when a thought enters your head. If you were to do therapy with me, a large part of what I do is help people explore the fact that, regardless of their content, thoughts are harmless pieces of information. This insight can be liberating.

Coming back to extreme sports, I decided to explore the boundaries of my own fear by learning to skydive when I was in my mid-twenties. I did 86 skydives in that time. It was exhilarating and life-affirming and taught me a lot that I have benefited from in my life. I'd be lying if I said I felt no fear. On the way up in the plane, most times, thoughts of the jump going wrong would be in my mind, accompanied by tensions in my body, but the good thoughts and feelings outweighed the uncomfortable thoughts and feelings, so I just accepted the uncomfortable and focussed on the good.

You cannot go through life without fear and anxiety, for better or for worse, but many people go through life without learning a phobia.

I've never had a phobia, but I have helped a lot of people free themselves of theirs.

One of my favourites is a previous case of fear of flying, when the fear turned into a thirst for adventure in the skies.

I remember a client who came to me with a fear of needles. He had a lot of tattoos and was fine with that kind of needle, but put him in a dentist chair, and he freaked out. Completely irrational. We were able to bring his cool state of mind from the tattoo chair into the dentist's chair.

I remember a client who had a phobia of new foods all the way into adulthood – we uncovered the invisible story there that she had a milk intolerance as a baby, which was not discovered for quite some time, and this installed a deep mistrust of food that went all the way back to her earliest days. This was an emotional realisation for her.

I remember a client who had a phobia of boats and water – he was in his 60s and had avoided swimming pools and boats all his life. Now that he had grandchildren, he wanted to play with them in swimming pools, so he came to me. We discovered a memory when he was around 7, playing with a sailboat in Hove Lagoon with his father. His boat fell over in the water, and he got in to save it, but tripped over and nearly drowned. His mind decided in that moment that neither boats nor water could be trusted, but we were able to change that story to help him play with his grandchildren.

All of these are perfect examples of the story becoming reality and forming a phobia.

If someone comes to me because they experience excessive fear and anxiety, then I focus on helping them experience their own thoughts and feelings without fear, to feel more comfortable with the uncomfortable. These more natural emotional states usually get out of hand because the fear or anxiety itself has become the threat, when it is really just an uncomfortable feeling that can be enjoyable in other circumstances.

FAQ About Phobias

• What’s the difference between fear and a phobia?

A phobia is a fear, but fear is not a phobia.

• How do phobias form?

The mind learns something unhelpful (often early in life) and tells a scary story that the body experiences as real.

• How can therapy help with phobias?

Using hypnosis, we can often discover the subconscious story that is driving the phobia and then change that story.

If you are experiencing a phobia that is holding you back in your life, and would like support grounded in curiosity, psychology and compassion, face-to-face in Worthing or online, please get in touch.